10 Lies That Keep You In Debt - Part 1

We all have those lies, large and small, we tell ourselves to justify why we do the things that we do. The reality is, however, that every single decision we make is either helping us or hurting us. There really isn’t much gray area there. Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not now, really doesn’t matter. Our long-term financial standing will inevitably show us what we found important during our short-term decision making.

Take a look at the list and see if you can relate to any of the lies below.

1. I deserve it.

Do you work hard? . . . Of course you do. Do you deserve to indulge every once in awhile?. . . Eh, maybe.  The question is, however, whether a new dress is really worth you staying in debt? Sometimes you may need to ask yourself, “As much as I deserve _________, don’t I deserve to be debt free even more?” If you answer, "No. I deserve to work my entire adult life and still end up with nothing at the age of retirement," then continue on. Buy all the dresses you want! Remember, its not the one "I deserve it." conversation that does it either; Its the constant conversation you begin to justify on an ongoing basis that hurts you. 

2. But, this is an emergency. . . isn’t it?

So, let’s get clear about what emergencies are. Merriam-Webster defines the term emergency as “A serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action.” With that being said, dipping into your emergency (or, opportunity) fund for items that you were fully aware were coming up is NOT an emergency. It’s important to make every expense a line item on your budget, even those things that are quarterly or annual expenditures such as car registration or dues.

Related Post: How to Create Wealthy Habits - Part 1

3. It was on sale.

Oh, yea! We’ve all fallen for this one at one time or another. The reality is most people are in debt because of STUFF. It’s impossible to get out of debt if you are committed to buying more and more stuff instead of truly being financially free. 

One way to avoid this trap is to stop walking around the mall and “window shopping” or “surfing” on line. I would also suggest unsubscribing to all of the tempting emails with the “great deals” in your e-mail box each morning. Instead of convincing yourself that you’re saving, begin to ask yourself, “Do I really need this?” Remember that buying something you don’t need is never better than saving money for your actual needs.

Do Men Really Manage Money Better?

This month’s issue of Black Enterprise features a new series on women and money entitled “Think like a woman . . .  manage your money like a man.” For obvious reasons, I couldn’t wait to sit down and read what revelations it would share.

The article states that “when it comes to finances women often wind up with the short end of the stick, whether the issue is salary, investing, big-ticket purchases, or family finances.” It goes on to say, “Often taken advantage of financially, women find themselves paying higher fees for products and services, earning less than their male counterparts and unable to support themselves through retirement.”  

I’m not trying to start a gender war on Valentine’s Day or anything, but by these statements alone is it really fair to assert that men “manage” money better?

For starters, if women’s earnings average out to be just 78% of male earning for identical positions, doesn’t that alone mean that if you make more, uh, you should end up with more? I’m not sure that this has anything to do with “management skills.”  Sure, women could stand to be more aggressive in the negotiation process, but this seems to me more like some tomfoolery going on in the human resources department. I may be too idealistic, but what happened to “Equal pay for equal work?” 

Related Post: Do “MeanGirls” Make More Money?

3 Questions to Ask Your Honey About Money

We all want it. We all need it. But for one reason or another, most of us find it difficult to talk about money – especially when the conversation involves our significant other. No matter how hard the talk is to have, the reality is that you can’t create a truly great relationship until you can openly communicate about money.

Think about dating relationships. Money is the one subject people will lie about most. People tend to stretch the truth a bit when it comes down to talking about the dollar.  They do all kinds of things to influence how others perceive their finances. While some conceal their money so they can be certain they’re not being used, others spend money they don’t have trying to impress the object of their affection. This may work out with surface level interaction, but when dating becomes a full blown relationship, it’s time to get real. . . . And, here are a few questions to help you get there:

1. “How did your parents handle money?”

We all have a financial blueprint; the way we specifically interact with our money. For most of us, our financial blueprint was handed down to us by our parents almost like a strand of DNA. But, it’s important to remember that no one is born with a particular attitude towards money.  We were all taught how to act and think about money matters.  These conscious and subconscious beliefs, ideals, thoughts and actions are what create our financial blueprint.

Talk to each other about what you heard about money and what types of behaviors you witnessed regarding money and financial matters. Once you can understand the environment a person grew up in or the way their parents or other influential people in their life handled money, it’s easier and much less frustrating to understand a person’s money style.

Related Post: 5 Signs You're Dating a Deadbeat

2. “What does money really mean to you?”

When it comes to our relationships, money is NOT the issue that many seem to believe it is. Money, that little green piece of paper in your wallet, in and of itself is powerless. It’s actually what the money represents to two different individuals that becomes problematic.

Money represents different things to different people. Money and material items might equate to love and affection for some.  For others, it could represent the difference between control and dependency or safety and stability.  If a person was brought up in a family, where expensive presents were given as a sign of love and affection, they might expect to get the same treatment from a partner even as an adult. But suppose their partner was raised to believe that working hard, saving money and providing a stable home environment meant love and affection?  These are where two people who may mean well, can often bump heads.

No Buy Month is Here!

If one of your financial goals this year is to save more money, participating in “No Buy Month” might just be one way to bring you one step closer.

February is “No Buy Month” as declared by Natalie P. McNeal, author of the Frugalista Files, a delightful book that chronicles how the blogger got out of debt while maintaining her fabulous life. She also reveals how not spending extra money for just one month helped her save a whopping $400 in just 28 days!

No Buy Month is an annual challenge in which McNeal and her loyal Frugalista followers take the shortest month in the year to achieve the largest savings they can by cutting out ALL non-essential spending. Instead of dining out, participants opt to grocery shop and cook at home.  And, this doesn’t include simply driving past the drive-thru; it includes even avoiding snacks at the vending machine!  Professional manis and pedis are out and don’t think about going to the hair salon! If you don’t need it for your absolute survival, you just don’t need it this month!

Related Post: Financial Book Review: The Frugalista Files

How to Create Wealthy Habits - Part 2

As I shared last week in Part 1 of How to Create Wealthy Habits, we are never in a state of "trying." We are either doing what we need to do or we aren't. Once we recognize that there is no in between, we can begin to take charge and implement the habits that will create the success in our finances and lives we desire. 

Here are more ways to create wealthy habits today:

SEE AND BELIEVE

Writing the vision and making it plain is only one part of the process. It is vital to also create a visual representation of your goals. I have always used dream/picture journals and vision boards as a focal point in turning my desires into reality. Find magazine photos or pictures online and post them somewhere where you can see them at least daily. Use the power of your visual sense to keep you focused on your goal. This focus is what will keep you motivated when you are tempted to slip back into your "not-doing habits." 

Related Post: How to Create the Life You Want (I explain how to create vision board here.)

REMAIN GRATEFUL

When you remain grateful, you allow yourself to find wealth in whatever situation you may be experiencing at any given moment.  When you are grateful for what you already have as well as those things you desire, you become happier and healthier and continue to attract more of the same. As you read, say to yourself, "I am grateful for all the money I have now." Have you ever heard the saying "What you resist, persists?" Murmuring and complaining has never created wealth.  Actually, it only achieves the opposite.  Being discontent will take your focus off of your goal by wasting time and energy and moving you further away from what you claim to want. 

DEVELOP A “SO WHAT, NOW WHAT” ATTITUDE

The reality is that obstacles are going to be thrown your way no matter how much positive thinking and prayer you use.  Instead of allowing life’s distractions to throw you off course, you have to accept them, learn the lesson and move on – continuously pressing toward your goals.  When you can look life head on and say, “XYZ challenge has occurred, but what can I do now to move on?” you will reach goals you never thought were possible!  Taking on this type of attitude teaches you to act in spite of your own doubts, ridicule from others, fears, etc.  When you press on despite the unexpected, you build courage and take down challenges one by one!


Additional Wisdom: 
George Lucas discussing his "So What, Now What" attitude on Oprah's Next Chapter