Break Time!

Kick out the troublemakers and things will quiet down;  you need a break from the bickering and griping!
                                          Proverbs 22:10 (The Message) 

Every year on December 31^st, my good friend, Ashley, takes inventory of the core relationships in her life. She creates three categories: friends, acquaintances and sphere of influence, dropping names under each title as she sits and reflects on the preceding twelve months. When analyzing the names, Ashley says, “My goal is to determine whether each one of these people are living up to my expectations for who gets to be in my life.” Notice she said “gets to be” in her life because she knows that her time, energy and presence is a gift to be cherished. Ashley reflects on whether they have been givers or takers in her life. She asks core questions, like whether she is energized or drained after each conversation. Are they depositing wisdom, sound advice, opportunities or encouragement into her life, or constantly making withdrawals? And, by the end of her exercise, Ashley has a better understanding of who gets to go into the New Year and who must be left behind.

Its important to remember that some people will only come into your life for a reason or a season. The idea of leaving someone behind does not mean that you never speak to them again, unless they are just truly toxic, but it means that you now define for yourself how you will allow them to utilize your time, energy and resources, if at all. As the Bible suggests, you may need to take a break!

I know that its not the end of the year, but we've hit the half way mark and believe it or not, I've already identified some folks and even situations that just don't get to stay. There's too much going to be bothered with nonsense. So, thanks to Ashley, I'm making my list and checking it twice! I'm also making sure that I AM the friend that does make deposits and not withdrawals, as well as offers sound wisdom and advice. How about you?

If your network determines your net worth, who are you allowing in your life? 

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed!

Do Men Really Manage Money Better?

This month’s issue of Black Enterprise features a new series on women and money entitled “Think like a woman . . .  manage your money like a man.” For obvious reasons, I couldn’t wait to sit down and read what revelations it would share.

The article states that “when it comes to finances women often wind up with the short end of the stick, whether the issue is salary, investing, big-ticket purchases, or family finances.” It goes on to say, “Often taken advantage of financially, women find themselves paying higher fees for products and services, earning less than their male counterparts and unable to support themselves through retirement.”  

I’m not trying to start a gender war on Valentine’s Day or anything, but by these statements alone is it really fair to assert that men “manage” money better?

For starters, if women’s earnings average out to be just 78% of male earning for identical positions, doesn’t that alone mean that if you make more, uh, you should end up with more? I’m not sure that this has anything to do with “management skills.”  Sure, women could stand to be more aggressive in the negotiation process, but this seems to me more like some tomfoolery going on in the human resources department. I may be too idealistic, but what happened to “Equal pay for equal work?” 

Related Post: Do “MeanGirls” Make More Money?

3 Questions to Ask Your Honey About Money

We all want it. We all need it. But for one reason or another, most of us find it difficult to talk about money – especially when the conversation involves our significant other. No matter how hard the talk is to have, the reality is that you can’t create a truly great relationship until you can openly communicate about money.

Think about dating relationships. Money is the one subject people will lie about most. People tend to stretch the truth a bit when it comes down to talking about the dollar.  They do all kinds of things to influence how others perceive their finances. While some conceal their money so they can be certain they’re not being used, others spend money they don’t have trying to impress the object of their affection. This may work out with surface level interaction, but when dating becomes a full blown relationship, it’s time to get real. . . . And, here are a few questions to help you get there:

1. “How did your parents handle money?”

We all have a financial blueprint; the way we specifically interact with our money. For most of us, our financial blueprint was handed down to us by our parents almost like a strand of DNA. But, it’s important to remember that no one is born with a particular attitude towards money.  We were all taught how to act and think about money matters.  These conscious and subconscious beliefs, ideals, thoughts and actions are what create our financial blueprint.

Talk to each other about what you heard about money and what types of behaviors you witnessed regarding money and financial matters. Once you can understand the environment a person grew up in or the way their parents or other influential people in their life handled money, it’s easier and much less frustrating to understand a person’s money style.

Related Post: 5 Signs You're Dating a Deadbeat

2. “What does money really mean to you?”

When it comes to our relationships, money is NOT the issue that many seem to believe it is. Money, that little green piece of paper in your wallet, in and of itself is powerless. It’s actually what the money represents to two different individuals that becomes problematic.

Money represents different things to different people. Money and material items might equate to love and affection for some.  For others, it could represent the difference between control and dependency or safety and stability.  If a person was brought up in a family, where expensive presents were given as a sign of love and affection, they might expect to get the same treatment from a partner even as an adult. But suppose their partner was raised to believe that working hard, saving money and providing a stable home environment meant love and affection?  These are where two people who may mean well, can often bump heads.

Are You Enabling Your Loved Ones?

An enabler is one that enables another to achieve an end; especially: one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior.                                                                             

Before you move on to your next post feeling some peculiar air of superiority, please note that while the definition cites substance abuse as a self-destructive behavior, it doesn’t disqualify the many of you (yes, YOU!) that enable friends and family members financially, as well!  It’s one thing to assist someone who may find themselves in a bind from time to time, but it’s another to allow people to become another line item on your own struggling budget. 

Not only is helping them, actually hurting them, but it may be hurting you, as well.

Singer & actor turned author, Tyrese, put it best while on tour to promote his new book, How To Get Out of Your Own Way.  His words echo in my mind still daily: “Sometimes to help someone, you have to stop helping them.”

So simple, yet so remarkably powerful.  And yet, I know how it goes.  We feel obligated to help family and friends who are in a financial bind.  After all, isn’t it the noble thing to do? It might be if it weren’t for the fact that nobility can often create an inability in a person to figure “it” out on their own.  Financially speaking, “it” can be a number of circumstances from how to earn their own income and manage their own money wisely to how to decipher between their own wants and needs, pay their own bills on time and essentially how to hustle.

Related Post: How To Hustle While You Work

So, how can you tell if you are enabling someone in your life? Answer “Yes” or “No” to the following 12 questions:
Do you:

1.      Constantly find yourself having to bail out grown and able-bodied adults?
       (If you’re a parent and your “baby” is above college-age, yes, they count as an adult.)

2.      Tell the few people who actually offer to pay you back not to worry about it?

3.      Financially support a person whose neediness is purely derived out of their own laziness?

4.      Find yourself afraid for this person, or convinced that he/she “cannot handle” a basic life   situation without “falling apart”?

3 Reasons A Man Is Not Your Financial Plan

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think reality shows like the Basketball Wives and even the Real Housewives franchises are getting a bad rap. . . Okay, well maybe not a bad rap, but far too much credit in creating what some may call "gold diggers."

I’ve heard several times recently that these shows are teaching young women that the only control they have over their financial destinies is keeping themselves attractive enough to trap, uh I mean, catch a baller. Yes, I’ve even been guilty of blaming 50 Cent for the hook, “Have a baby by me and be a millionaire,” when I speak to high school and college aged women across the country. But truthfully, way before rap artists and cable television, many women were taught in their homes first and foremost that their job, no matter how educated they became, was to find a suitable and stable man whom they could marry and live happily ever after with. Although times have changed, similar “advice” still runs rampant today.

Last year, after speaking at a university in Georgia, a college freshman e-mailed me to say, that although she understood my point, she is still faced with a mother and grandmother who tell her daily that a man is her golden ticket to a good life and financial independence. I feel safe in saying that granny didn’t get that type of advice from Nene Leakes! Instead of lawyers and doctors, young women today are being advised to scout out athletes and entertainers to be their retirement plans; assuming, of course, the men don’t squander their fortunes away.

To these young ladies I continue to offer the bumper sticker mantra, “A man is not a financial plan” and here are 3 reasons why:

1. A man won't always be around. We’ve all heard that divorce rates are high, so I don’t feel the need to go any further with that, but can we get some stats on just how high basic break up rates are? In my business, I coach women who have been left with thousands of dollars in debt by boyfriends! Yes, you read correctly, B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D-S! And no matter, how mad folks get, I will stand firm on my belief that women must stop treating boyfriends like husbands! That in itself is one sure fire way to avoid financial ruin. From car notes to rental payments and mortgages they couldn’t afford, I’ve seen women who signed their name to the dotted line because their “man” told them he would take care of the payments if they just put it in their name. Oldest trick in the book, ladies. Did we learn nothing from Lisa Raye? Her former husband, the Prime Minister of Turks and Cacaos, supposedly worth $180 million at the time “gave” her a Rolls Royce Phantom as a gift while they were dating. Somehow though, it had a $6500 note on it which ended up in her name. Now inquiring minds would like to know, “Just how does that happen, Ms. Lisa?”. . .

Even if you’re in a fairytale relationship with the man of your dreams, the reality is that at some point your marriage/relationship could still end by death. Statistics continue to reveal that women live longer than men. If that ends up being the case for you, think about what could happen if your husband is the only one who knows anything about the financial footing of the family. At a time when widows should really be left to mourn, many are left scurrying about attempting to locate insurance policies that they aren’t even 100% certain exist. Nothing is worse than believing that everything is taken care of financially and then not realizing that quite the opposite is true after someones demise.

Whether or not a relationship ends in death or divorce, you should always have access to and an understanding of what's going on with your family's finances.

How To Create Your “OWN” Team Of All-Stars

Each year millions make resolutions; and every year millions fail at their resolutions because they haven’t learned that accountability is one of the most underutilized keys to success.  The difference between the present version of YOU and the potential version of YOU, may single handedly be measured by the people you surround yourself with. The more you hope to attain and accomplish in life, the more you will need the help of others – especially people that are smarter or more experienced than you in any given area of life or business.

This month Ask Oprah’s All Stars premiered on the media mogul’s OWN network allowing everyday people to ask questions of Dr. Oz, Suze Orman and Dr. Phil about relationships, health, body and finances. You don’t have to be Oprah, however, to surround yourself with a team of the best consultants, coaches and confidants you can find.

Oprah calls them her All Stars, but I refer to them as my Mastermind Group, a name I adopted after reading Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner. A Mastermind Group is defined by Talane as a “special group of people with different talents and backgrounds (that) will help you brainstorm on ideas and provide suggestions on how you can reach your goals.” These people are your support system, sounding board and even devil’s advocates when necessary. They help you stay clear of the costly mistakes you would more than likely make if left up to your own “bright ideas.”

Here are a few tips to use as you set out to create your own team of All Stars and create your best life yet!

1. Start with people you know. Think of people you already know across different backgrounds and industries. Make sure the basics like – a lawyer, an accountant, a computer whiz, an artist or designer, etc.- are included, but also think outside the box and make the list unique to your industry. If your goal is to be a chef, surround yourself with a nutritionist or a restauranteer so that you can bounce new dishes off of them or even a publisher who can give you behind the scenes insight on what it takes to produce your own cookbook.

(Side Note: As you begin to do this you will begin to attract all types of brilliant people into your life. Never dismiss anyone because you’re not positive at first about whether they will be a good fit. Schedule a one-one with them to see how you can best support one another and go from there.)

2. Be open to feedback. You can’t enlist the best people you know to help further your vision and then be unwilling to hear what they have to say. If you start this project out with people whom you know have your best interest at heart, there’s no need to get all riled up if they don’t think your idea will work as presented. Be quiet, listen openly and be ready to tweek your idea until you get it right.

Related Post: Birds Of A Feather

Has The Recession Ruined Your Relationships?

Since our country's economic tsunami began about 3 years ago, families from coast to coast have literally been ripped to shreds.  From the suffering of job loss to enduring virtual homelessness, relationships have been squeezed, stretched and twisted beyond recognition. The lack of additional resources, if any at all, have caused many to now publicly display their abundance of personal inadequacy. Without their bells and whistles attached, people have become unrecognizable to their family, friends and shockingly even themselves.
I have witnessed brothers and sisters turn on one another, children rebel against parents who are struggling and striving to just keep a roof over their head, much less a Gucci on their arm and husbands and wives ripped apart over financial failures.

These observations have caused me to wonder whether the recession is really the cause for ruining these relationships or are people just being who they always were?  Was their much substance to these bonds in the first place?

Foundations made of sand . . . the only explanation I have come up with thus far. People who allowed money to make them . . . instead of simply making money work for them. Marriages that are founded on selective amnesia which conveniently forget the vow "for richer or poorer." Parents who buy love instead of giving and receiving love freely. In my eyes, this is what our society has come to embrace in our chase for money and false assumption that both more and bigger are always better.  Could it be that the only part the recession has played in this entire ordeal is exposing us for what we have allowed ourselves to become?

5 Signs You're Dating A Deadbeat

On the surface a lot of guys can come across as "ballers," but its up to you to be alert and pay attention to the waving red flags that make it clear this stud is really being a bum with his money.  Before dating becomes "I do," look for these warning signs and clues.  If you find them, run OR go through some serious counseling before walking down the aisle! Remember, most marriages end over financial disagreements, but be clear that people who enter marriage with bad money habits don't magically begin them because they're married.  They were showing signs all along!

Red Flag #1: He drives a big flashy car and lives in a fly apartment - the one he calls a "condo" - in the ritzy part of town, but his furniture consists of a futon and one flat screen television.  Okay, if he moved in last Saturday, then we can give him a pass, but if he's a grown man and he's been there longer than 30 days with no real furniture, chances are he's not the baller you thought he was.  The only thing worse would be him living in a fully furnished home. . . with his mama!

Red Flag #2: When you met him, he was buying out the bar at the club. But, everytime you come to that empty apartment/"condo," his refrigerator is just as bare with the exception of the Arm & Hammer Baking Soda he uses to keep the ice fresh. Be leery of anyone who is so concerned about impressing complete strangers on Saturday night, he'll starve for the rest of the week.

Red Flag #3: Have you ever seen him get his mail out of the mailbox? If you answered "No," be concerned. He can't be in control of his finances if he's ignoring his mail. Someone who has their finances together won't want to run the risk of missing something important. On the flip side, if he does get the mail, but the contents are always pastel colored envelopes that read "URGENT" or "PAST DUE" across the front, you should still be concerned. That is a pretty standard clue that someone is having trouble paying their bills on time.

It's Break Time!

Kick out the troublemakers and things will quiet down;
you need a break from the bickering and griping!
Proverbs 22:10 (The Message)

Every year on December 31^st, my good friend, Ashley, takes inventory of the core relationships in her life. She creates three categories: friends, acquaintances and sphere of influence, dropping names under each title as she sits and reflects on the preceding twelve months. When analyzing the names, Ashley says, “My goal is to determine whether each one of these people are living up to my expectations for who gets to be in my life.” Notice she said “gets to be” in her life because she knows that her time, energy and presence is a gift to be cherished. Ashley reflects on whether they have been givers or takers in her life. She asks core questions, like whether she is energized or drained after each conversation. Are they depositing wisdom, sound advice, opportunities or encouragement into her life, or constantly making withdrawals? And, by the end of her exercise, Ashley has a better understanding of who gets to go into the New Year and who must be left behind.

Its important to remember that some people will only come into your life for a time and a season. The idea of leaving someone behind doesn’t mean that you never speak to them again, unless they are just truly toxic, but it means that you now define for yourself how you will allow them to utilize your time, energy and resources, if at all. As the Bible suggests, you may need to take a break!

I know that its not the end of the year, but we've hit the half way mark and believe it or not, I've already identified some folks and even situations that just don't get to stay. There's too much going on in 2010 to be bothered with nonsense. So, thanks to Ashley, I'm making my list and checking it twice! I'm also making sure that I AM the friend that does make deposits and not withdrawals, as well as offers sound wisdom and advice. How about you?

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed!

Who Are YOU In a Crisis?

If you fall to pieces in a crisis,
there wasn't much to you in the first place.
Proverbs 24:10 (The Message)

Ouch! That is definitely a harsh word, but very true. Since our country's economic tsunami began about 3 years ago, I have seen people in both my personal and professional life literally fall to pieces. A lack of additional resources has caused many to now publicly display their abundance of personal inadequacy. Without their bells and whistles attached, people have become unrecognizable to even themselves.

I have witnessed brothers and sisters turn on one another, children rebel against parents who are struggling and striving to keep a roof over their head as opposed to a Louis on their arm and husbands and wives ripped apart over financial failure.

These observations have left me wondering on countless occasions, "Was their much to these relationships in the first place?" Foundations made of sand . . . the only explanation I have come up with thus far. People who allowed money to make them . . . instead of simply making money work for them. Marriages that are founded on selective amnesia which conveniently forget the vow "for richer or poorer." Parents who buy love instead of give and receive love freely. In my eyes, this is what our society has become.

My true and sincere prayer is that people will recognize that these times are here to bring us closer together and help strengthen us at our core. Its time that we value relational wealth over just material possessions, for how we treat our loved ones in times of crisis reveals the authenticity of the foundation of that relationship.

Life is cyclical. This is not the first recession and it certainly will not be the last. Take a moment and reflect on how you've allowed this crisis to affect the real you and the people in your life. Remember that who YOU are in times of economic crisis or any other state of personal emergency is truly who YOU are.

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed!

Brothers and Sisters: Can't We All Just Get Along?

Psalm 133:
How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! (The Message)

How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! (NLT)


There's a few more lines to this scripture, but this morning all I needed to do was stop right there! Coming off of a very rocky weekend in dealing with my own brother, I had taken the mindset that I just wasn't going to be bothered anymore. What does that mean? . . . I don't know, maybe assuring new acquaintances that my mom really only had one child! . . . Or, convincing my neices and nephews that the whole Auntie Peesh thing all these years has been a big joke and we're not really related!

My brother and I's last few interactions have all ended up being scenes straight out of a Western movie; each of us having guns drawn and aiming to take no prisoners nor leave no man alive! Ordinarily, I won't tolerate the yelling matches that he and I share with anyone else, but boy can he get right under my skin. It takes almost nothing for us to tick one another off and lately it seems to only get worse with each passing.

The details of our disagreement don't really matter at this very moment. Sure, we need to have a serious intervention, but I think the greater lesson from my quiet time today was that God expects me to live in harmony with my brother. As much as my flesh wants to write him off right now, he's my brother and God nor Marie (my mom) wants to see us like this. I'm not saying that I plan on calling today or even attempting to "be the bigger person" right now. But, I am saying that I will leave the possibilities open and take time to research within myself the contributions I've made to this great catastrophe.

If any of you are having disagreements with a sibling right now, then you happened to read this for a reason too. Don't brush past it. The Holy Spirit is calling you out just like he did me earlier this morning. Listen to him! It doesn't have to be fixed right this moment, but we can at least begin to examine our own hearts in preparation for the reunion God and our moms are hoping we have!

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed.

Concealing Sin

Proverbs 28:13
He who conceals his sin does not prosper,
but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

I've been in a position lately where a few folks have thought that by doing or saying certain false things against me, they may somehow change my future or destiny. Unfortunate for them, much of this "concealed" sin has been quickly brought to light through no efforts of my own. As a matter of fact, the hole they thought they were digging for me has actually become their second home.

A previous pastor of mine would say, "If the Lord has a blessing on your life, the devil in hell can't stop it." While others sit by and plot and scheme to block your blessing, remember that what God has for you, absolutely no one on this green earth can take away! Its not for us to fight to bring these haters to light. Their "concealed" sin will find them out and they will instead hinder themselves from prospering.

If you've found yourself being that hater, there's still time to turn things around! Confess your sin, repent and allow God to bless you with what's in store for you. Trust me - He has enough to go around for everyone!

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth and Be Blessed!

Compromising the Word

Proverbs 30:6

Do not add to his (God's) words,

or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.

I've been pushing off speaking to someone who I looked up to in the ministry very much because of several instances in which I felt like God's word was being compromised to prove a point. The first time, I thought it might have been an oversight. The second time, well, I concluded that they just must have been confused or a little flustered by the circumstance at hand. But when I watched them not correct someone else who compared them to God, the Spirit immediately reassured me that I was not in the wrong for the way I had been feeling! It happened almost as a confirmation and reminder that no matter how much I "liked" someone, they were dead wrong for allowing God's word to be abused while they were in a position to correct it.

I don't know about you, but I despise those who try to prove a point by twisting the words of the Bible or any other reference point. I understand that because of our life experience's we all share different perspectives. And because of that, we each can draw totally different conclusions from reading the exact same scripture. What bothers me though are folks that misquote scriptures only to prove a point at that moment. If you asked them any other day, their response to the same text could be totally different based on their mood or what was occuring in their life!

I believe God's word is his word. Although we may gain different insight or have a revelation regarding a text or subject that we didn't have before, we should not add to or take away from his word in order to substantiate an argument. The proverb notes that by adding to God's word, we will be proved a liar. And who wants to have any type of relationship with a liar?

As a believer, apart of our job is to bring people to Christ. God has already inspired the word. If he needed our input, either we would have been a chosen disciple born back then or we'd be submitting applications to be included as an author for the updated edition! Since neither is plausible, let's just show people what The Word says and plant the seed! He will allow it to grow and take care of the rest.

Until Next Time . . . Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed!

Training Children

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Lately I've had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my older brother. At first glance, most people can't believe that we are related, much less siblings who were raised in the same household. The general concensus growing up was that he was the bad seed and I was the sweet little angel. Neither label was ever 100% true. Inherently, I believe we're both good people who were raised with great values. We were taught to have manners, respect our elders and above all, love God. Along the way, though, we both lost our way at times. My brother's losses were more visible than mines and not nearly as easy to cover up. And through all my screw ups, I stayed in school and "did the right thing." Nevertheless, sin is sin and we each will answer for the things that we have done.

Luckily, however, neither my mom or grandmother will be responsible for our actions. They did their best during the time they had with us and because of their teachings, I find myself having conversations I would have considered to be highly unlikely with my brother. The mere ability to talk about God and how awesome he is and to hear my brother say that he's been praying for me, reminds me of what my mom and grandma were trying their best to instill in us all along. And whether they knew it or not then by our actions, I see it clearly coming to fruition now.

As a relatively young mother, I am reminded by this verse that its my responsibility to protect, teach and guide my daughter, Reagan, for the next seventeen years or so. Should she choose to make decisions contrary to what my husband and I would prefer, I will take comfort in knowing that as long as do my job now, she'll always come back to what she was taught at some point!

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed . . . .

Reckless Words

Proverbs 12:18
Reckless words pierce like a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

A friend of mines is going through a rough patch in her marriage right now which really saddens me. She is a beautiful woman, with a servan't spirit, booming business and the cutest kids you'll ever meet. On the outside, she's the type of gal that many could and probably do envy. But on the inside she's torn to pieces over her husband. He doesn't particularly feel like there is an issue because he's not cheating, he provides and he spends time with the kids. The problem is, however, that despite the great package he appears to be, the recklessness of his words is tearing his wife apart emotionally, when his tongue is where she should be able to seek refuge.

Have you ever said something that you knew was terribly wrong as soon as the words left your lips? Have you ever felt the sting of someone saying something to you that just crushed your spirits? Even if it were in the heat of an argument, once the apologies were professed and the truces called, someone is still carrying the pain of something that was said and can never be taken back.

Let's take a stand today to choose our words wisely in all of our relationships. We shouldn't always be worried about what we need to say. . . . sometimes whats more important is how the person we're talking to will be affected by it.

My friend is seriously considering leaving a seemingly great marriage because her husband just doesn't recognize that the words he chooses and the tone, style and attitude with which he speaks is killing the spirit of his vivacious wife. This proverb alone, if heeded to, could save a marriage.

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed

A Lesson From Troy

Proverbs 25:28
Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control.


By far, Troy is one of my favorite movies of all time. I can sincerely assert that I’ve seen it in its entirety at least 2 dozen times. As a USC Trojan, I immediately was drawn in by the name of course, and the physiques of Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom & Eric Bana were definitely nothing to pass up on either! (*Ah-hem* . . . I love you Honey!) But, reading this verse today, struck a cord for some reason and I realized that there was a lesson I had learned from the movie, Troy. Beyond Pitt’s pecks, there was something else that really intrigued me and I finally got it today!

Though I would hope that everyone has seen Troy by now, I won’t give away too much. I will share, however, that the great and mighty walls of the city of Troy were broken down much like the city mentioned in Proverbs. Ironically, this city is compared to a man who lacks self-control. Ironic because the trials that caused a once great nation to falter, all stemmed from the lack of control shown by one man, Paris (Orlando Bloom), who smuggles Helen, the wife of the King of Sparta, back to Troy despite his family’s recently founded peace treaty with this long time foe. Once his brother, Hector (Eric Bana), learned of this unwise move, he reprimanded Paris, reminding him that he could have any woman he wanted at his beck and call, but he chose Helen of all people. He would not only bring destruction to himself, but his brother, his family and ultimately the entire kingdom of Troy. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_(movie))

Do you realize that one small decision you may make in the heat of the moment, may not only cost you grave consequences, but also bring sacrifice to those around you? Not even just your own personal family, but in this instance, Paris endangered an entire community because he couldn’t control himself. One man’s foolishness destroyed a people. Much like when an adulterer ruins an entire family or a corrupt preacher damages the faith of a congregation – it happens everyday, in some form or fashion. As individuals lets take up responsibility and put down selfishness. Our actions impact much more than just ourselves.

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & See Troy! :)

Don't Fire Yourself!

Proverbs 21:23
He who guards his mouth and his tongue
keeps himself from calamity.


Its no secret that unemployment is at a high these days. Even those "secure" government jobs that we all believed were untouchable during any signs of economic crisis are laying thousands of people off each week. This is a time when we have to bring our "A" game forward in the workplace. We must show employers that we are serious about giving 110% and are truly one of their most valuable assets.


Is it possible to show our worth, however, when we are consumed in workplace gossip, complaining about our boss to everyone and comparing salaries with our co-workers? I'd say probably not! I read a post on one of my favorite blogs yesterday entitled 13 Things Not to Share with Your Co-Workers. In it, the blogger, David, adds a little commentary on a list he found somewhere else, as well. I'll share a couple with you hear:

• GOSSIP - NEVER EVER GOSSIP IN THE WORKPLACE! I cannot stress this
  enough. First, there is no such thing as a secret in the office. That juicy secret that you only meant to tell one person will make its way around to everyone before you even get back to your cubicle. It’s not fair to others, it's messy and it’s dangerous to do. Depending on the situation, gossip could be considered harassment or illegal. Even if it’s just out of self-preservation, stay away from gossip.

• WORK COMPLAINTS - Almost everyone has to have a job. Complaining about it won’t make it any better. It can hurt morale, and offend others in the office (especially supervisors). If you have a serious gripe, address it through the proper channels. If not, just grin and bear it.

• INTIMATE DETAILS - Your almost always better off keeping your professional
  life separate from your personal life. Don’t share any intimate details about what you and your husband do after you tuck the kids in. TMI! You could quickly become a topic of gossip, or even worse, people may try to find a way to use your personal details against you.

• BLOGS OR SOCIAL NETWORKING PROFILES - ANOTHER ONE I CANNOT EMPHASIZE MORE STRONGLY! Nothing good can ever come out of sharing your Facebook or social network profiles with others. Chances are, you’ll end up sharing something not work appropriate with others. Those pictures from the night you went out and got really drunk? The inappropriate inside joke that your friend wrote on your wall? Everyone will see it. I cannot believe how many people I see sharing inappropriate (and possibly offensive) information with co-workers. This is a recipe for disaster. Even worse? I know a lot of people who regularly check Facebook at work. This is doubly damaging. Not only will you look unprofessional, but your co-workers will be able to track your whereabouts by looking at your Facebook profile. Do you really want them to see how many times you wrote on someone’s wall when you were supposed to be working?

One of my mentors, George Thompson, said once that his father told him that he never had to fire people because they always fired themselves. After owning my own business for four years, I saw exactly what he meant by that. This list is only an introduction to some of the things we should totally avoid doing in the workplace. Not just when times are hard and we're in greater jeopardy of losing our jobs, but always. We should always want our reputations to be that of excellence - not the person who's just around to watch the clock and collect a paycheck! This is practical workplace wisdom that I hope you can benefit from and apply in your lives.

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed!

Birds of a Feather

Proverbs 13:20

He who walks with the wise grows wise,

but a companion of fools suffers harm.

I bumped into a childhood friend in Target a few years ago and had a conversation that sticks with me to this day. This elementary school pal was one of a group of kids that I would've considered my best friends back then. A few moments into catching up, she told me that she heard "I only liked to hang out with "snooty" people and thought I was too good for folks from around the neighborhood." Wow! That hit me like a bag of nickels! First, I couldn't believe that someone who I hadn't seen in years would just come out and say that! I commend her for keeping it real, but could we show some discretion here?

My second reaction was to feel like the scum of the earth. I didn't think I acted high and mighty by any means, but then again I never kept in touch after leaving the school and only saw folks in passing. After I scraped my jaw off the floor, I was tempted to ask who told her that, but didn't and laughed it off with a, "Girl, you know how people talk!" Oddly enough, she felt like it was a good idea to keep the conversation going and told me about some of these mutual friends. Two were in jail, one was in a mental facility, several had multiple children by multiple fathers and many others, including this young lady, seemed to be sucking public assistance dry.

When it was time to say our goodbye's, I didn't offer to exchange phone numbers or do any of the phony "Let's keep in touch!" I walked away not feeling like scum, but glad that my mother did make a decision to send me to a different school. She changed the entire course of my life.

Related Post: How To Create Your "OWN" Team Of All Stars

I'm unapologetic that my inner circle is full of attorneys, nurses, educators, entrepreneurs, executives and the like. If it weren't, how could I continue to grow as a person? The wise will understand that and the unwise will call it "being snooty." But, as grandma always says, "Birds of a feather, flock together." That group of elementary school chums are still each others best friends today. That's one circle of trust I am proud to not be apart of!

Until Next Time,


Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Keep Good Company!

I Want to Be a Nobody

Proverbs 12:9
Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant
than pretend to be somebody and have no food.

A few months ago Gerald and I met the Baileys, the couple who owned a home we were considering purchasing. The Baileys were nothing to write home about as my friend, Lauren, from high school would always say. They looked like average people just trying to sell a home like everyone else in this economy.

After a few minutes of walking through the house and talking to them, we realized how much they reminded us of ourselves. They have been partners in their real estate business for 28 years and married for forty! She handled all the paperwork side of the business, but wasn't afraid to get dirty when necessary and he did the "hard labor" as he called it. Yup, we saw Gerald and Patrice in thirty or forty years written all over them!

We stayed for awhile talking about marriage, children, real estate and the like. Suddenly after a few subtle comments, it hit us both that we were in the presence of multi-multi-multi millionaires! Couldn't have guessed it by the holes in his Reeboks or her faded red top, but they were! It was obvious that they don't reveal their personal business to everyone that comes knocking, but they eventually were comfortable enough to tell us about their 40 pieces of free and clear property, "mini" yacht and thriving investments. Who would've known by their appearance that the Baileys were rolling in dough?

That's just it! Appearances really don't mean two cents these days. Actually they never have for that matter. Each day we meet people who can't wait to tell you about what they have, how much it costs, their extravagant lifestyles and blah, blah, blah. They want you to know that they are somebody and you better recognize it! But if we actually got close enough to know them, we'd find that they can't even afford the clothes on their back or the Prada shoes on their feet.

This economy will hopefully teach us that its not about what others perceive us to have, but what we know we have accumulated in the bank! The Baileys could care less about what we thought about their faded shirts and Reeboks because every day they drive home in their paid off car to their mortgage free home on the lake, with their paid off yacht docked in the back! I think this is the life God intended for us all - not the one where we try to keep up with the Joneses, but one where we can live in harmony with the Baileys.

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed!

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems?

Proverbs 10:22
The blessing of the Lord brings wealth,
and he adds no trouble to it.

That's strange. I always heard growing up that having money brought additional drama to your life. For example, folks might be jealous of you; your family members may want to borrow from you all the time, blah, blah, blah. In a nutshell, I was raised to believe that "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems!" Luckily I realized that this type of verbal influence was totally non-supportive of what my personal goals are, so I was able to shift. There are so many of us, however, who don't realize that some of the foolish stuff we heard as a child, still run us today. How can we truly create wealth, if we have a deep rooted belief that being wealthy is too risky? Despite what we say about wanting wealth, we can subconsciously jeopardize our opportunities to create wealth, if we really believe that having money will bring problems.

Take a moment and think back to your childhood. Be careful to recognize any verbal references that adults in your personal sphere would use, ie. "Money doesn't grow on trees," or "Love is more important than money." Now, look at your adult life. How have you seen these type of sayings play themselves out in your relationship to money and wealth creation today? You'll be surprised at what you find!

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed!