Do Men Really Manage Money Better?

This month’s issue of Black Enterprise features a new series on women and money entitled “Think like a woman . . .  manage your money like a man.” For obvious reasons, I couldn’t wait to sit down and read what revelations it would share.

The article states that “when it comes to finances women often wind up with the short end of the stick, whether the issue is salary, investing, big-ticket purchases, or family finances.” It goes on to say, “Often taken advantage of financially, women find themselves paying higher fees for products and services, earning less than their male counterparts and unable to support themselves through retirement.”  

I’m not trying to start a gender war on Valentine’s Day or anything, but by these statements alone is it really fair to assert that men “manage” money better?

For starters, if women’s earnings average out to be just 78% of male earning for identical positions, doesn’t that alone mean that if you make more, uh, you should end up with more? I’m not sure that this has anything to do with “management skills.”  Sure, women could stand to be more aggressive in the negotiation process, but this seems to me more like some tomfoolery going on in the human resources department. I may be too idealistic, but what happened to “Equal pay for equal work?” 

Related Post: Do “MeanGirls” Make More Money?

Steve Harvey Mentoring Weekend: A Lesson in Giving

Attending Steve Harvey’s Mentoring Weekend for Young Men this past weekend taught me many lessons about life, myself and people, in general. Beyond the 125 or so young men who were chosen to attend the jam packed weekend of inspiration, reflection and just plain real talk, I think every person who stepped foot on the Harvey Town, 400+ acre ranch outside of Dallas, TX has forever been transformed.  And, of course, I am no different.  While I could share so much of what I learned  or who I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting while speaking during the parent program, I wanted to narrow down my thoughts to simply this:

I WANT TO BE WEALTHY.

I don’t know that anyone would have to ask, “Why?,” but I still would like to take a moment to explain.

After growing up in the Leimert Park area of South Central Los Angeles my entire life, it’s no wonder I would desire the means to provide a better life for myself and my own children.  But my reason for declaring today that I want to be wealthy goes even deeper than the obvious.  Much deserved reflection over the past days since Mentoring Weekend, has revealed to me that I want to be wealthy so that I may give back in a larger capacity than just simply my time and talents.  While those are both fantastic and fulfilling and while I would encourage anyone to do the same, watching Mr. Harvey, my mentor since my college days, turn scattered thoughts during commercial breaks into annual events like the Mentoring Weekend and even now the largest award show production in the country, the Hoodie Awards, I realize what “making it” is truly all about.  This is not to say that I had not already learned that we are all only blessed to be a blessing; but to see lives change before your eyes at this magnitude has shown me the embodiment of true wealth – on the inside and out.

As always, feel free to share your thoughts.

Until Next Time,

Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth & Be Blessed

3 Reasons A Man Is Not Your Financial Plan

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think reality shows like the Basketball Wives and even the Real Housewives franchises are getting a bad rap. . . Okay, well maybe not a bad rap, but far too much credit in creating what some may call "gold diggers."

I’ve heard several times recently that these shows are teaching young women that the only control they have over their financial destinies is keeping themselves attractive enough to trap, uh I mean, catch a baller. Yes, I’ve even been guilty of blaming 50 Cent for the hook, “Have a baby by me and be a millionaire,” when I speak to high school and college aged women across the country. But truthfully, way before rap artists and cable television, many women were taught in their homes first and foremost that their job, no matter how educated they became, was to find a suitable and stable man whom they could marry and live happily ever after with. Although times have changed, similar “advice” still runs rampant today.

Last year, after speaking at a university in Georgia, a college freshman e-mailed me to say, that although she understood my point, she is still faced with a mother and grandmother who tell her daily that a man is her golden ticket to a good life and financial independence. I feel safe in saying that granny didn’t get that type of advice from Nene Leakes! Instead of lawyers and doctors, young women today are being advised to scout out athletes and entertainers to be their retirement plans; assuming, of course, the men don’t squander their fortunes away.

To these young ladies I continue to offer the bumper sticker mantra, “A man is not a financial plan” and here are 3 reasons why:

1. A man won't always be around. We’ve all heard that divorce rates are high, so I don’t feel the need to go any further with that, but can we get some stats on just how high basic break up rates are? In my business, I coach women who have been left with thousands of dollars in debt by boyfriends! Yes, you read correctly, B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D-S! And no matter, how mad folks get, I will stand firm on my belief that women must stop treating boyfriends like husbands! That in itself is one sure fire way to avoid financial ruin. From car notes to rental payments and mortgages they couldn’t afford, I’ve seen women who signed their name to the dotted line because their “man” told them he would take care of the payments if they just put it in their name. Oldest trick in the book, ladies. Did we learn nothing from Lisa Raye? Her former husband, the Prime Minister of Turks and Cacaos, supposedly worth $180 million at the time “gave” her a Rolls Royce Phantom as a gift while they were dating. Somehow though, it had a $6500 note on it which ended up in her name. Now inquiring minds would like to know, “Just how does that happen, Ms. Lisa?”. . .

Even if you’re in a fairytale relationship with the man of your dreams, the reality is that at some point your marriage/relationship could still end by death. Statistics continue to reveal that women live longer than men. If that ends up being the case for you, think about what could happen if your husband is the only one who knows anything about the financial footing of the family. At a time when widows should really be left to mourn, many are left scurrying about attempting to locate insurance policies that they aren’t even 100% certain exist. Nothing is worse than believing that everything is taken care of financially and then not realizing that quite the opposite is true after someones demise.

Whether or not a relationship ends in death or divorce, you should always have access to and an understanding of what's going on with your family's finances.

Be Selfish. Just Say No!

I know the idea of being selfish seems like an awful thing, but to be successful in life sometimes you have to consider how overextending yourself can impact you in the long run. It's not so much that you want to be stingy, but as my mentor, Steve Harvey says, "the worst thing you can do for a poor person is become one of them!"

I get it ladies.  As a woman, I know we feel obligated to do everything someone asks of us because if we don't they may not like us . . . or be mad at us . . . or think less of us.  But, newsflash: PEOPLE WILL SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU AS LONG AS YOU ALLOW THEM TO and probably still end up being mad at you about something!  So I say, let them be mad while you still have money!  No point in being broke AND friendless!

As a Black woman, I feel comfortable in saying that I think we have a double dose of anxiety about this subject.  We've taken the "Strong Black Woman" title to mean that we MUST be responsible for and take care of EVERYBODY from adult children to the church! We over do it so much to the point that when we have an emergency and need something for ourselves, we're depleted; we have nothing left to give emotionally and especially financially.